M. M.: Sir, I feel privileged and honored by your kindness to sit down for an interview with me!
Obama: The honor is all mine. I’ve heard only good things about Gegenstimme.
M. M.: How would you prefer me to address you? Heavenly Father?
Obama: Oh no, please call me Barack, Mike!
M. M.: It doesn’t seem appropriate. You do realize that you are our Savior, don’t you?
Obama: We’re all brothers and sisters.
M. M.: Feel free to say ‘brothas and sistas‘. We have a lot of tolerance for you black people. I have always liked this one: Yo, yo, yo, whassup, ma brotha from anotha motha?
Obama: Yea … that’s funny … I guess.
M. M.: The L. A. TIMES called you the ‘Magic Negro’ not too long ago. How do you feel about that?
Obama: I’m not sure …-
M. M.: Neither am I. It sounds so antiquated. ‘Magic Nigga‘, now that has oomph!
Obama: People put too much emphasis on the color of my skin. I don’t represent the black community. I represent all people.
M. M.: And quite successfully, I might add. You took the whole world by storm. Everybody is in awe of you. Even the white folks!
Obama: Yes, and this proves my point. My campaign is not about racial issues. It’s not about black or white or red or yellow. It’s not about Republicans or Democrats. It’s not about conservatives or liberals. It’s not about men or women. It’s not about …-
M. M.: Ok, stop already! I get it. Just tell me what your campaign is about.
Obama: Change.
M. M.: Change?
Obama: Yes. And hope.
M. M.: Change and hope?
Obama: Yes.
M. M.: Wow! I wonder why nobody else thought of that?
Obama: I know, it is so simple. The solution to all our problems lies in …-
M. M.: Change and hope for the better?
Obama: Absolutely right.
M. M.: What a concept!
Obama: Isn’t it? And you can apply it to anything.
M. M.: It is no surprise to me that you are now the frontrunner for the Democrat Party. Everybody loves you. In fact, you are so loved by the world, only one person is known to get this much positive attention: The Antichrist. But he hasn’t arrived yet.
Obama: Interesting comparison.
M. M.: So, who do you think is going to try to assassinate you first? The Ku Klux Klan? Islamic terrorists? Hillary Clinton?
Obama: I would like to think neither of them. However, as history has shown there is always a chance that this could happen. But I don’t ponder it too much and leave it to …-
M. M.: Hope?
Obama: That too. But I meant to say that I leave it to the great people of the Secret Service. They are doing an excellent job protecting me, my wife Michelle and our children.
M. M.: Speaking of your wife. I recently heard her say that for the first time in her adult life she is proud of her country. She hit the nail right on the head! Isn’t it amazing that we finally have something to be proud of as Americans?
Obama: And there could be so much more for us to be proud of if we’re just willing to give change a chance.
M. M.: There is something that I need to confess, Father. Last night I watched Ann Coulter on TV and I was thinking naughty thoughts. Dirty thoughts. Outright sexual!
Obama: That’s only natural.
M. M.: No, I’m a married man! Can you absolve me?
Obama: I’m not the Messiah, Mike.
M. M.: What a humble man you are! Before you leave, can you wash my feet or would you like me to wash yours?
Obama: Thanks, I pass.
M. M.: Well, your advisors are signaling me that our time is up. I would like to thank you for this interview. And congratulations on your successful campaign! Let’s hope it won’t change.