M.M.: I can’t tell you what a delight it is to have the opportunity to interview one of the greatest heroes of our lifetime, Mr. Moore!

Moore: Thank you. That is very flattering. I’m glad to be here.

M.M.: You need to know that I’m probably your biggest fan. I have seen all of your documentaries. I’ve read your books, too.

Moore: It’s nice to talk to someone who’s actually coming prepared. I usually have to face people who don’t know anything about me and rely only on hearsay.

M.M.: You mean there are people who criticize you?

Moore: Are you kidding? More than I can count.

M.M.: But how is that possible, after all you have done for this country? For the world!

Moore: Well, I wear it as a badge of honor. The more I get attacked, the more I know I’m right.

M.M.: Can you give me an example?

Moore: Sure. Take Fahrenheit 911 for instance.

M.M.: A masterpiece!

Moore: People accused me of lying and distorting the truth. I challenged them and offered a lot of money to the person who could find one single lie in that documentary. Nobody ever came forward. So you see, some idiots like to make a lot of noise, but when it gets serious they are nowhere to be found.

M.M.: You should go after those people and sue them.

Moore: You can’t get too involved in things like that. You’d lose your focus and that’s essentially what they want. They want you to go away or at least be irrelevant.

M.M.: You’re anything but irrelevant. Tell us about your latest documentary.

Moore: It’s called-

M.M.: Around Michael Moore in 80 days?

Moore: You‘re a funny guy. And I have lost weight by the way. No, it‘s called “Capitalism - A Love Story”.

M.M.: That’s a strange title. It implies that you like capitalism. I would be disappointed.

Moore: Of course I like capitalism.

M.M.: You do?

Moore: I just don’t like what has become of it.

M.M.: Explain.

Moore: Look at what’s going on at Wall Street.

M.M.: Yes! And before you go on, I have to tell you a secret. I was really pleased to see those towers collapse on 9/11. I thought this would be the end of Wall Street and its fraudulent trading practices. But I was wrong. They are back and with people like Bernie Madoff stronger than ever.

Moore: Madoff is in jail, so we don’t have to worry about him anymore.

M.M.: True, but don’t you think that he was just the tip of the iceberg?

Moore: Yes, and that’s why I made this documentary. I think the whole system is undermining the very idea of capitalism.

M.M.: I hate that word!

Moore: And I don’t blame you. What happened to the days when you got rewarded for hard work and hard work only? The stock market has mutated into a monster. Money gets shifted around. Money gets created out of nothing. Nobody really understands what’s going on anymore except for a few people who control the whole market. In my opinion profits have to be earned and that’s why I don’t own stocks.

M.M.: What do you mean? I thought you owned a lot of stocks. I read about it a long time ago. Isn’t that true?

Moore: I’m not prepared to answer that question. But I can tell you this much: I offer 10 dollars to anyone who can proof that.

M.M.: What do you think of our new president? Isn’t Obama great?

Moore: I’m in awe of him. The simple fact that he was elected was reason enough for him to be the recipient of this year’s Nobel Peace Prize.

M.M.: Yes, I was very happy for him. I bet he will get an Oscar, too. And the Country Music Award, of course.

Moore: And he should. He put and end to torture, ordered Guantanamo closed and he’s eliminated that useless term “War on Terror”. In fact, I wrote him a letter and congratulated him on his great work. Now I just hope that he will end the two wars that he inherited and bring our troops home.

M.M.: What if he doesn’t end the wars?

Moore: Then he should return the Nobel Peace Prize to Oslo. But I’m confident that he will put an end to a war that we cannot win.

M.M.: There are people who say that he should listen to his generals and increase the troops in Afghanistan.

Moore: There is nothing wrong with Obama doing what the last guy failed to do — capture the man or men responsible for the mass murder of 3,000 people on 9/11. But you cannot do that with tanks and troops. He is pursuing a criminal, not an army. You do not use a stick of dynamite to get rid of a mouse.

M.M.: Wise words, Mr. Moore. Wise words. Maybe we can use that stick of dynamite to get rid of Wall Street?

Moore: I don’t advocate violence but it might not be such a bad idea.

M.M.: We could get into the details after the interview if you like. What are your plans for the future?

Moore: I’m not sure. To be honest, it’s tough to be the lone voice out there. There’s only so much you can do, but when you realize that things aren’t changing and people aren’t changing you get discouraged.

M.M.: Perfectly understandable.

Moore: So instead of doing documentaries I could see myself making movies. I would love to do a comedy.

M.M.: And I’m sure you’d be victorious at it. But we need you right where you are.

Moore: I will try my best.

M.M.: Well, this is about all the time we have. Thank you very much for stopping by and please say hello to your brother Roger.